[Prev][Next][Index][Thread]
sorry if posted b4 .. just joined the list and my favorite help desk...
>
> >>>
> >>>Monday
> >>>------
> >>>8:05am
> >>>User called to say they forgot password. Told them to use password
> >>>retrieval utility called FDISK. Blissfully ignorant, they thank me and
> >>>hang up. God, we let the people vote and drive, too?
> >>>
> >>>8:12am
> >>>Accounting called to say they couldn't access expense reports database.
> >>>
> >>>Gave them Standard Sys Admin Answer #112, "Well, it works for me." Let
> >>>them rant and rave while I unplugged my coffee-maker from the UPS and
> >>>plugged their server back in. Suggested they try it again. One more
> >>>happy customer...
> >>>
> >>>8:14 am
> >>>User from 8:05 call said they received error message "Error accessing
> >>>Drive 0." Told them it was an OS problem. Transferred them to
> >>>microsupport.
> >>>
> >>>11:00 am
> >>>Relatively quiet for last few hours. Decide to plug support phone back
> >>>in so I can call my girlfriend. Says parents are coming into town this
> >>>weekend. Put her on hold and transferred her to janitorial closet down in
> >>>basement. What is she thinking? The "Myst" and "Doom" nationals are this
> >>>weekend!
> >>>
> >>>11:34 am
> >>>Another user calls (do they ever learn?). Says they want ACL changed on
> >>>HR performance review database so that nobody but HR can access database.
> >>>Tell them no problem. Hang up. Change ACL. Add@MailSend so performance
> >>>reviews are sent to */US.
> >>>
> >>>12:00 pm
> >>>Lunch
> >>>
> >>>3:30 pm
> >>>Return from lunch.
> >>>
> >>>3:55 pm
> >>>Wake up from nap. Bad dream makes me cranky. Bounce servers for no
> >>>reason.
> >>>
> >>>Return to napping.
> >>>
> >>>4:23 pm
> >>>Yet another user calls. Wants to know how to change fonts on form. Ask
> >>>them what chip set they're using. Tell them to call back when they find
> >>>out.
> >>>
> >>>4:55 pm
> >>>Decide to run "Create Save/Replication Conflicts" macro so next shift has
> >>>something to do.
> >>>
> >>>Tuesday
> >>>-------
> >>>
> >>>8:30 am
> >>>Finish reading support log from last night. Sounded busy. Terrible time
> >>>with Save/Replication conflicts.
> >>>
> >>>9:00 am
> >>>Support manager arrives. Wants to discuss my attitude. Click on
> >>>PhoneNotes SmartIcon. "Love to, but kinda busy. Put something in the
> >>>calendar database!" I yell as I grab for the support lines, which have
> >>>(mysteriously) lit up. Walks away grumbling.
> >>>
> >>>9:35 pm
> >>>Team leader from R&D needs ID for new employee. Tell them they need form
> >>>J-19R=9C9\\DARR\K1. Say they never heard of such a form. Tell them it's
> >>>in the SPECIAL FORMS database. Say they never heard of such a database.
> >>>Transfer them to janitorial closet in basement.
> >>>
> >>>10:00 am
> >>>Perky sounding intern from R&D calls and says she needs new ID. Tell her
> >>>I need employee number, department name, manager name, and marital status.
> >>>Run @DbLookup against state parole board database, Centers for Disease
> >>>Control database, and my Oprah Winfrey database. No hits. Tell her ID will
> >>>be ready tonight. Drawing from the lessons learned in last week's
> >>>"Reengineering for Customer Partnership," I offer to personally deliver
> >>>ID to her apartment.
> >>>
> >>>10:07 am
> >>>Janitor stops by to say he keeps getting strange calls in basement. Offer
> >>>to train him on Notes. Begin now. Let him watch console while I grab a
> >>>smoke.
> >>>
> >>>1:00 pm
> >>>Return from smoking break. Janitor says phones kept ringing, so he
> >>>transferred them to cafeteria lady. I like this guy.
> >>>
> >>>1:05 pm
> >>>Big commotion! Support manager falls in hole left where I pulled floor
> >>>tiles outside his office door. Stress to him importance of not running
> >>>in computer room, even if I do yell "Omigod -- Fire!"
> >>>
> >>>1:15 pm
> >>>Development Standards Committee calls and complains about umlauts in form
> >>>names. Apologizing for the inconvenience, I tell them I will fix it.
> >>>Hang up and run global search/replace using gaks.
> >>>
> >>>1:20 pm
> >>>Mary Hairnet from cafeteria calls. Says she keeps getting calls for
> >>>"Notice Loads" or "NoLoad Goats," she's not sure, couldn't hear over
> >>>industrial-grade blender. Tell her it was probably "LettuceNodes." Maybe
> >>>the food distributor with a new product? She thinks about it and hangs up.
> >>>
> >>>2:00 pm
> >>>Legal secretary calls and says she lost password. Ask her to check her
> >>>purse, floor of car, and on bathroom counter. Tell her it probably fell
> >>>out of back of machine. Suggest she put duct tape over all the air vents
> >>>she can find on the PC. Grudgingly offer to create new ID for her while
> >>>she does that.
> >>>
> >>>2:49 pm
> >>>Janitor comes back. Wants more lessons. I take off rest of day.
> >>>
> >>>Wednesday
> >>>---------
> >>>
> >>>8:30 am
> >>>Irate user calls to say chipset has nothing to do with fonts on form. Tell
> >>>them Of course, they should have been checking "Bitset," not "chipset."
> >>>Sheepish user apologizes and hangs up.
> >>>
> >>>9:10am
> >>>Support manager, with foot in cast, returns to office. Schedules 10:00am
> >>>meeting with me. User calls and wants to talk to support manager about
> >>>terrible help at support desk. Tell them manager about to go into meeting.
> >>>
> >>>Sometimes life hands you material...
> >>>
> >>>10:00 am
> >>>Call Louie in janitorial services to cover for me. Go to support
> >>>manager's office. He says he can't dismiss me but can suggest several
> >>>lateral career moves. Most involve farm implements in third-world
> >>>countries with moderate to heavy political turmoil. By and by, I ask if
> >>>he's aware of new bug which takes full-text indexed random e-mail
> >>>databases and puts all references to furry handcuffs and Bambi Boomer in
> >>>Marketing on the corporate Web page. Meeting is adjourned as he reaches
> >>>for keyboard, Web browser, and Tums.
> >>>
> >>>10:30 am
> >>>Tell Louie he's doing great job. Offer to show him mainframe corporate
> >>>PBX system sometime.
> >>>
> >>>11:00 am
> >>>Lunch.
> >>>
> >>>4:55 pm
> >>>Return from lunch.
> >>>
> >>>5:00 pm
> >>>Shift change; Going home.
> >>>
> >>>Thursday
> >>>--------
> >>>
> >>>8:00 am
> >>>New guy ("Marvin") started today. "Nice plaids" I offer. Show him server
> >>>room, wiring closet, and technical library. Set him up with IBM PC-XT.
> >>>Tell him to quit whining, Notes runs the same in both monochrome and
> >>>color.
> >>>
> >>>8:45 am
> >>>New guy's PC finishes booting up. Tell him I'll create new ID for him.
> >>>Set minimum password length to 64. Go grab smoke.
> >>>
> >>>9:30 am
> >>>Introduce Louie the custodian to Marvin. "Nice plaids" Louie comments.
> >>>Is this guy great or what?!
> >>>
> >>>11:00 am
> >>>Beat Louie in dominos game. Louie leaves. Fish spare dominos out of
> >>>sleeves ("Always have backups"). User calls, says Accounting server is
> >>>down. Untie Ethernet cable from radio antenna (better reception) and plug
> >>>back into hub.
> >>>
> >>>Tell user to try again. Another happy customer!
> >>>
> >>>11:55 am
> >>>Brief Marvin on Corporate Policy 98.022.01: "Whereas all new employee
> >>>beginning on days ending in 'Y' shall enjoy all proper aspects with said
> >>>corporation, said employee is obligated to provide sustenance and relief
> >>>to senior technical analyst on shift." Marvin doubts. I point to
> >>>"Corporate Policy" database (a fine piece of work, if I say so myself!).
> >>>"Remember, that's DOUBLE pepperoni and NO peppers!" I yell to Marvin as
> >>>he steps over open floor tile to get to exit door.
> >>>
> >>>1:00 pm
> >>>Oooooh! Pizza makes me so sleepy...
> >>>
> >>>4:30 pm
> >>>Wake from refreshing nap. Catch Marvin scanning want ads.
> >>>
> >>>5:00 pm
> >>>Shift change. Flick HR's server off and on several times (just testing
> >>>the On/Off button...). See ya tomorrow.
> >>>
> >>>Friday
> >>>------
> >>>
> >>>8:00 am
> >>>Night shift still trying to replace power supply in HR server. Told them
> >>>it worked fine before I left.
> >>>
> >>>9:00 am
> >>>Marvin still not here. Decide I might start answering these calls myself.
> >>>Unforward phones from Mailroom.
> >>>
> >>>9:02 am
> >>>Yep. A user call. Users in Des Moines can't replicate. Me and the Ouiji
> >>>board determine it's sunspots. Tell them to call Telecommunications.
> >>>
> >>>9:30 am
> >>>Good God, another user! They're like ants. Says he's in San Diego and
> >>>can't replicate with Des Moines. Tell him it's sunspots, but with a
> >>>two-hour difference. Suggest he reset the time on the server back two
> >>>hours.
> >>>
> >>>10:17 am
> >>>Pensacola calls. Says they can't route mail to San Diego. Tell them to
> >>>set server ahead three hours.
> >>>
> >>>11:00 am
> >>>E-mail from corporate says for everybody to quit resetting the time on
> >>>their servers. I change the date stamp and forward it to Milwaukee.
> >>>
> >>>11:20 am
> >>>Finish @CoffeeMake macro. Put phone back on hook.
> >>>
> >>>11:23 am
> >>>Milwaukee calls, asks what day it is.
> >>>
> >>>11:25 am
> >>>Support manager stops by to say Marvin called in to quit. "So hard to
> >>>get good help..." I respond. Support manager says he has appointment with
> >>>orthopedic doctor this afternoon, and asks if I mind sitting in on the
> >>>weekly department head meeting for him. "No problem!"
> >>>
> >>>11:30 am
> >>>Call Louie and tell him opportunity knocks and he's invited to a meeting
> >>>this afternoon. "Yeah, sure. You can bring your snuff" I tell him.
> >>>
> >>>12:00 am
> >>>Lunch.
> >>>
> >>>1:00 pm
> >>>Start full backups on UNIX server. Route them to device NULL to make them
> >>>fast.
> >>>
> >>>1:03 pm
> >>>Full weekly backups done. Man, I love modern technology!
> >>>
> >>>2:30 pm
> >>>Look in support manager's contact management database. Cancel 2:45
> >>>appointment for him. He really should be at home resting, you know.
> >>>
> >>>2:39 pm
> >>>New user calls. Says want to learn how to create a connection document.
> >>>Tell them to run connection document utility CTRL-ALT-DEL. Says PC
> >>>rebooted. Tell them to call microsupport.
> >>>
> >>>2:50 pm
> >>>Support manager calls to say mixup at doctor's office means appointment
> >>>cancelled. Says he's just going to go on home. Ask him if he's seen
> >>>corporate Web page lately.
> >>>
> >>>3:00 pm
> >>>Another (novice) user calls. Says periodic macro not working. Suggest
> >>>they place @DeleteDocument at end of formula. Promise to send them
> >>>document addendum which says so.
> >>>
> >>>4:00 pm
> >>>Finish changing foreground color in all documents to white. Also set
> >>>point size to "2" in help databases.
> >>>
> >>>4:30 pm
> >>>User calls to say they can't see anything in documents. Tell them to go
> >>>to view, do a "Edit -- Select All", hit delete key, and then refresh.
> >>>Promise to send them document addendum which says so.
> >>>
> >>>4:45 pm
> >>>Another user calls. Says they can't read help documents. Tell them I'll
> >>>fix it. Hang up. Change font to Wingdings.
> >>>
> >>>4:58 pm
> >>>Plug coffee maker into Ethernet hub to see what happens. Not (too) much.
> >>>
> >>>5:00 pm
> >>>Night shift shows up. Tell that the hub is acting funny and to have a
> >>>good weekend.
> >
>
>
>
_________________________________________________________________________
Larry Kahn __ __ __ __ Senior Software Engineer
/ \ / \ / \ / \ Dynamics Research Corp.
____________________/ __\/ __\/ __\/ __\_____________________________
___________________/ /__/ /__/ /__/ /________________________________
[email protected] / / \ / \ / \ / \ \____ [email protected]
\_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \ o \
\_____/--<
(TALK: [email protected])
(FINGER: [email protected] for PGP public key)
_________________________________________________________________________