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(Fwd) A Soap Opera (long but funny)
------- Forwarded Message Follows -------
>>All of you sometime travelers should get a kick out of this,
>>purportedly-true story which was circulating a year or two ago. It
>>occasioned a bit of silliness in our UCC Board of Directors'
>>meetings, during which little bars of soap would mysteriously accrue
>>around someone's place at the table. In case you missed it, here it
>>is:
>>
>>Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a
>>London hotel's staff and one of its guests. The London hotel
>>involved submitted this to the "Sunday Times." No name was
>>mentioned:
>>
>>Dear Maid,
>>
>>Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my
>>bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove
>>the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest
>>and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.
>>Thank you,
>>
>>S. Berman
>>
>>Dear Room 635,
>>
>>I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday,
>>from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap
>>dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your
>>way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should
>>change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my
>>instructions form the management is to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope
>>this is satisfactory.
>>
>>Kathy, Relief Maid
>>
>>Dear Maid - I hope you are my regular maid.
>>
>>Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning
>>the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I
>>found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine
>>cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have
>>brought my own bath-sized Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays
>>which are on the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing
>>teeth, etc. Please remove them.
>>
>>S. Berman
>>
>>Dear Mr. Berman,
>>
>>My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps which
>>we are instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps which were
>>in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your
>>Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your
>>convenience. I didn't remove the 3 complementary soaps which are
>>always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and
>>which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday. Please
>>let me know if I can be of further assistance. Your regular maid,
>>
>>Dorothy
>>
>>Dear Mr. Berman,
>>
>>The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this A.M. that you
>>called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid
>>service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will
>>accept my apologies for nay past inconvenience. If you have any
>>future complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal
>>attention. Call extension 1108 between 8 AM and 5 PM. Thank you.
>>
>>Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper
>>
>>Dear Miss Carmen,
>>
>>It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for
>>business at 7:45 AM and don't get back before 5:30 or 6 PM. That's
>>the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off
>>duty. I asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those
>>little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought
>>I was a new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel
>>soap in my medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3
>>bars on the bathroom shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated
>>24 little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me?
>>
>>S. Berman
>>
>>Dear Mr. Berman,
>>
>>Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to
>>your room and to remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further
>>assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8 AM and 5 PM. Thank
>>you.
>>
>>Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper
>>
>>Dear Mr. Kensedder,
>>
>>My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my
>>room including ow own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and
>>had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.
>>
>>S. Berman
>>
>>Dear Mr. Berman,
>>
>>I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap
>>problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room
>>since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time
>>they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately.
>>Please accept my apologies for this inconvenience.
>>
>>Martin L. Kensedder, Assistant Manager
>>
>>Dear Mrs. Carmen,
>>
>>Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in
>>last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little
>>bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you
>>realize I have 54 bars of soap here? All I want is my bath-size
>>Dial. Please give me back my bath-size Dial.
>>
>>S. Berman
>>
>>Dear Mr. Berman,
>>
>>You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed.
>>Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing
>>so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken
>>and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily (sic). I don't
>>know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid,
>>Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brought 24
>>Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don't know where you got the idea
>>this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some
>>bath-size Ivory which I left in your room.
>>
>>Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper
>>
>>Dear Mrs. Carmen,
>>
>>Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap
>>inventory. As of today I possess: On shelf under medicine
>>cabinet - 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2. On Kleenex
>>dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3. On
>>bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4
>>hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4. Inside medicine
>>cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2. In shower
>>soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist. On northeast corner of tub - 1
>>Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used. On northwest corner of tub - 6
>>Camays in 2 stacks of 3. Please ask Kathy when she services my room
>>to make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please
>>advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I
>>suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an
>>excellent spot for future soap deliveries. One more item, I have
>>purchased another bar of bath-sized dial which I am keeping in the
>>hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.
>>
>>S. Berman
Joy Kendrick
Web Weaver & Owner
Joyous Creations
925 Gillette Street
Winston-Salem, North Carolina 27105-5715
E-mail: [email protected]
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