[Prev][Index][Thread]
History Of The Net ;-) (fwd)
http://www.shorty.com/~robbie/mob/96/may/msg00008.html
> >
> >if think that you should all like this......
> >
> >
> >luv g
> >
> >Grant Croker, CA-Ingres, UK Tech Support - Winnersh Triangle \\\
> >Tel (01734) 496401, Fax (01734) 491042 -0
> >http://gcsob.gac.peachnet.edu/grant - [email protected] {=
> >-----------------><--------------------------------------><------------
> >Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum --
> >"I think that I think, therefore I think that I am."
> > -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
> >
> >---------- Forwarded message ----------
> >Date: Tue, 7 May 1996 14:33:00 +0100
> >From: Duncan Mackinder <[email protected]>
> >To: [email protected]
> >Subject: History Of The Net ;-)
> >
> >This was found floating around the net.
> >Apologies to those of a religious frame of mind, but I find this rather
> >amusing. If you are likely to be offended, please STOP READING NOW!
> >
> >I bet you are still reading this.... you have yourself to blame!
> >
> >Duncan ;-)
> >
> > History Of The Net
> > ==================
> >
> > First there was God. He was quite lonely so he created Dennis.
> >
> > Dennis was unimpressed with God.
> >
> > So,... God created Brian.
> >
> > But, Brian got bored with God.
> >
> > So Brian and Dennis started playing, and they created C. God saw C,
> > and saw that it was good. So he decided to let Brian and Dennis play
> > some more.
> >
> > Then Brian and Dennis created Unix. God saw Unix, and he was jealous.
> > So he created Bill to torment Brian and Dennis and obscure their
> > creation (for God could not destroy Unix, for he secretly admired
> > its perfection).
> >
> > So Bill created Microsoft. And Microsoft created Windows. And God saw
> > that it was bad, but it had market share, so he was happy. Then Bill
> > got cocky, and his ego got bigger than God's. So to knock Bill down a
> > couple of pegs, God put into effect, a wondrous plan.
> >
> > First God created Tim. And Tim created the World Wide Web (using
> > Unix, of course). This was good, but not THAT good. So God created
> > Marc. Marc created Mosaic (using Unix, of course). Mosaic created a
> > huge feeding frenzy that has got a lot of people who are reading this
> > their jobs.
> >
> > But that's a different story. Mosaic was good, and God saw it was
> > good, so he allowed Marc to start Netscape. Back to this later.
> >
> > But all this time Brian and Dennis started to make something better
> > than Unix called Plan 9 (because God was successful in foiling Brian
> > and Dennis' previous seven plans [there was no Plan 8 because Brian
> > and Dennis pulled the wool over God's eyes and just jumped to Plan 9,
> > which was too bright a move for even God to figure out.] )
> >
> > Eventually, God figured out how to create Larry.
> >
> > No one knows how or why he created Larry, except perhaps to reduce
> > productivity at the Jet Propulsion Labs at NASA. [Rumors are that God
> > created Larry because he secretly liked what Dennis and Brian had done
> > with C, but didn't think C and Unix was enough -- this probably isn't
> > true because God believed he had destroyed Brian and Dennis' plans by
> > destroying Plans 1-7, and by creating Microsoft to slay their beloved
> > Unix.
> >
> > Anyhow, Larry created Perl (using Unix and C, of course), and God saw
> > it was good, so he made Randal. Larry and Randal wrote books about
> > Perl. And everyone saw that this was good, except snobs who were too
> > much into C, Windows, and Intel. (It so happens that Randal was so
> > cool he figured out a way to break into Unix at Intel, and Intel sued
> > him for it but that's another story also -- chances are Randal would
> > not have been able to break into *Plan 9* at Intel, but Intel isn't
> > cool enough to be running Plan 9)
> >
> > Anyhow, back to Randal. So Randal and Larry wrote books, but they had
> > to be nice because of the people they worked for. So then came Tom.
> > But back to Tom later.
> >
> > Anyhow, God saw Netscape (made using Unix and C, of course), and he
> > saw it was good, and that annoyed Bill quite a bit. And that made Him
> > very happy, and made Marc very rich. But Bill was very very rich. But
> > that's a *completely* different story.
> >
> > But as good as Larry's creation, Perl, was, it couldn't do everything,
> > so God created Scott. Scott announced Java, and this was big news. Now
> > Java really pissed Bill off, because Bill also created Blackbird, and
> > Java killed Blackbird. This was bad because killing Blackbird also
> > meant killing the Microsoft Network. And many rejoiced over that, but
> > that, too is another story.
> >
> > Now Java, obviously had done much to annoy Bill. For Java was so good
> > that Bill had to license Java. All this time, Scott poked lots of fun
> > at Bill because Sun, which was where Scott worked, made a better OS,
> > derived -- of course -- from Unix, which was better than Bill's and
> > Microsoft's Windows.
> >
> > Anyhow, even God's creations Steve and Steve who created Apple
> > couldn't make Bill license the much superior MacOS. But finally, Bill
> > had to license Java. So justice was served, and Bill's ego was served
> > him on a platter for him to eat his words. Or something. That part is
> > unclear.
> >
> > So by this time Windows and Microsoft and Bill in general really
> > sucked. Especially considering the advantages that Brian and Dennis'
> > C and Unix, running Marc's Netscape and Mosaic over Tim's World Wide
> > Web, doing cool CGI stuff with Larry's Perl, which you learned from
> > Randal and Tom, and got to program with Scott's Java.
> >
> > And God realized he had put Bill down too far. So then God made it so
> > that Marc's Netscape and Mosaic could run on Windows. We already know
> > that Bill had to license Java from Scott. We know that Bill missed
> > the boat for not beating Tim to the punch on the World Wide Web. The
> > last straw was for God to make it possible for Larry's Perl to run on
> > Bill's Windows.
> >
> > So back to Tom. Tom was a Perl God. And God didn't like this, but
> > Tom's a God so there isn't much God could do, so He couldn't stop Tom
> > from saying things like "install an operating system on your poor
> > lonely computer the way God and Dennis intended", and "Espousing the
> > eponymous /cgi-bin/perl.exe?FMH.pl execution model is like reading a
> > suicide note -- three days too late."
> >
> > The moral to the story? God is fickle. That's why Microsoft and Bill
> > and Windows exists. Do what God intended, install C, Unix,
> > Mosaic/Netscape, Java, and Perl on your system, and make Brian,
> > Dennis, Larry, Tim, Tom, Randal, Scott, and even Steve and Steve,
> > I'm sure, happy by doing so.
> >
> > Oh yeah, Linus was cool too. He's the guy you thank for being able to
> > run all the cool stuff on your crappy little Pee Cee. (anything with
> > x86 on it, by default, is crappy, no PERSONAL flames intended)
> >
> >
> > Answers on a postcard...
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >--
> >***************************************************************************
> > Jeff Kidd * Team OS/2
> > Cpo Box 1992 * Pro Win-OS/2
> > Home: 451-5339 * Work: 452-7787
> >***************************************************************************
> >jeff@bashful, jeff@gcsob, jeff@gcnext, jeff@artsci, jeff@acs5, jeffk@gcvax
> >***************************************************************************
> >
> >
> --
> Robbie Honerkamp
> [email protected], [email protected], [email protected]
> http://www.shorty.com/~robbie/
> Would you be prepared if gravity reversed itself?
> -from "Real Genius"
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> * Prev: [FWD] The Day the Sites Went Out in GA?
> * Next: (FWD) Def con liquid refreshment data
> * Index(es):
> o Main
> o Thread
--
Robbie Honerkamp
[email protected], [email protected], [email protected]
http://www.shorty.com/~robbie/
Supercomputer: Turns CPU-bound problems into I/O-bound problems.