[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index]
GEEKS: OBFUSC-8 and BOTCH: Old Programming Languages Revisited
Recently while I was clearing out some clutter I ran across these charts for
the relatively Olde & Ancient languages OBFUSC-8 and BOTCH, and forward them
for your weekend trips down memory lane.
OBFUSC-8
You should try the great new language OBFUSC-8! It is incredibly easy to learn
and use. Only three command statements are employed, the ones needed to
perform the most common computer operations: CRSYS (crash system), LDAT (lose
data) and RDSK (ruin disk.) File structures are refreshingly simple..there are
NO files, thus no access and backup problems. Similarly, numeric operators are
simplified by eliminating all numeric operations, freeing the programmer from
the boredom of writing accounting and bookkeeping software. Incredibly sharp,
high resolution color graphics can be created by drawing on the monitor (RGB
or monochrome) with crayons. Text strings of any length can be cut off and
tied in a knot around your pinkie for instant retrieval.
OBFUSC-8 is in final testing and should be available soon in versions for
Pascal's Analytical Engine, abacus and slide rule.
HERE ARE SOME EXTRA OPCODES FOR THOSE WHO CAN NEVER
FIND THE RIGHT ONE TO DO THE JOB.
AGB...add garbage BBL...branch on burned out light
BAH...branch and hang BLI...branch and loop infinite
BPB...branch on program bug BPO...branch if power off
CPB...create program bug CRN...convert to roman numerals
DAO...divide and overflow ERS...erase read only storage
HCF.....halt and catch fire IAD...illogical and
IOR...illogical or MDB...move and drop bits
MWK...multiply work PAS...print and smear
RBT...read and break tape RPM...read programmer's mind
RRT...record and rip tape RSD...read and scramble data
RWD...rewind disk SRZ ...subtract and reset to zero
SSD...seek and scratch disk TPR...tear paper
WED...write and erase data WID...write invalid data
XIO...execute invalid op code XOR...execute operator
XPR...execute programmer XUR...execute user
BOTCH ==> A NEW PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE
==> Basic Operating Technique of Computer Hobbyists
ARN ADD AND RESET TO NON-ZERO BB BRANCH ON BUS
BBI BRANCH ON BURNED-OUT INDICA BCF BRANCH ON CHIP BOX FULL
BD BACKSPACE DISK BPO BRANCH ON POWER OFF
BSO BRANCH ON SLEEPY OPERATOR BTI BLOW TRUMPET IMMEDIATELY
CCS CHINESE CHARACTER SET CM CIRCULATE MEMORY
CRN CONVERT TO ROMAN NUMERALS DAC DIVIDE AND CONQUER
DD DESTROY DISK DIA DEVELOP INEFFECTIVE ADDRESS
DO DIVIDE AND OVERFLOW DSPK DESTROY STORAGE PROTECT KEY
ECP ERASE CARD PUNCH ED EJECT DISK
EIO EXECUTE INVALID OPCODE EROS ERASE READ ONLY STORAGE
FSG FILL SCREEN WITH GARBAGE HCF HALT AND CATCH FIRE
IA ILLOGICAL AND II INQUIRE AND IGNORE
IOR ILLOGICAL OR IRB INVERT RECORD AND BRANCH
LCC LOAD AND CLEAR CORE LMB LOSE MESSAGE AND BRANCH
MLB MOVE AND LOSE MEMORY MLR MOVE AND LOSE RECORD
MTI MAKE TAPE INVALID MWC MOVE AND WARP CODE
NPN NO PROGRAM NECESSARY PI PUNCH INVALID
PO PUNCH OPERATOR PS PRINT AND SMEAR
RBT READ BLANK TAPE RCR REWIND CARD READER
RCS READ CARD AND SCRAMBLE DATA RD REMOVE DISK
RID READ INVALID DATA RIG READ INTER-RECORD GAP
RBT REWIND AND BREAK TAPE RE RUN ERROR
RNR READ NOISE RECORD ROM READ OPERATOR'S MIND
RPM READ PROGRAMMER'S MIND RPB READ PRINT AND BLUSH
RT REPORT TROUBLE SC SCRAMBLE CHANNELS
SD SLIP DISK SLP SHARPEN LIGHT PENCIL
SP SCATTER PRINT SPSW SCRAMBLE PROGRAM STATUS WORD
SRSD SEEK RECORD AND SCAR DISK SSJ SELECT STACKER AND JAM
TAB THROW AWAY BYTE TPN TURN POWER ON
TPF TURN POWER OFF UCB UNCOUPLE CPU AND BRANCH
UER UPDATE AND ERASE RECORD VID VERIFY INVALID DATA
WWW WRITE WRONG LENGTH WORD WNR WRITE NOISE RECORD
XNH EXECUTE NO-OP AND HANG YTE YES TO EVERYTHING
ZEL ZERO EVERY LOCATION