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Abbott and Costello learn UNIX
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To: Mike Eldredge <[email protected]>, ANN FREELANDER <[email protected]>, Geeks <[email protected]>, Gabe Kingsley <[email protected]>, "Nikki O'Connell" <[email protected]>, Paul Oakes <[email protected]>, Merzi Portee <[email protected]>, Diana Siemens <[email protected]>, Michael Tannenbaum <[email protected]>, Dave Trowbridge <[email protected]>, Jack Weston <[email protected]>, Roger Zaruba <[email protected]>, ron nadel <[email protected]>
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Subject: Abbott and Costello learn UNIX
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From: Fred Nadel <[email protected]>
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Date: 27 Jan 97 17:17:13 EST
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Delivered-To: [email protected]
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Delivered-To: [email protected]
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Delivered-To: [email protected]
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Delivered-To: [email protected]
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MBOX-Line: From [email protected] Mon Jan 27 22:18:37 1997 remote from tomservo
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Sender: [email protected]
----- Forwarded Message -----
TO: Fred Nadel, 74431,3510
FROM:
DATE: 1/27/97, 9:10 AM
Re: Abbott and Costello learn UNIX
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This one is strictly computer dork humor
-------------Forwarded Message-----------------
Costello calls Abbott with
some questions about UNIX:
Costello: What is the command that will tell me the
revision code of a program ?
Abbott: Yes, that's correct.
Costello: No, what is it ?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: So, which is the one ?
Abbott: No. 'which' is used to find the program.
Costello: Stop this. Who are you ?
Abbott: Use 'who am i' not 'who r yoo'. You can
also 'finger yoo' to get information about yoo'.
Costello: All I want to know is what finds the revision
code ?
Abbott: Use 'what'.
Costello: That's what I am trying to find out. Isn't that
true ?
Abbott: No. 'true' gives you 0.
Costello: Which one ?
Abbott: 'true' gives you 0. 'which programname'
Costello: Let's get back to my problem. What program? How
do I find it?
Abbott: Type 'find / -name it -print' to find
'it'. Type 'what program' to get the revision code.
Costello: I want to find the revision code.
Abbott: You can't 'find revisioncode', you must
use 'what program'.
Costello: Which command will do what I need?
Abbott: No. 'which command' will find 'command'.
Costello: I think I understand. Let me write that.
Abbott: You can 'write that' only if 'that' is a
user on your system.
Costello: Write what?
Abbott: No. 'write that'. 'what program'.
Costello: Cut that out!
Abbott: Yes. those are valid files for 'cut'.
Don't forget the options.
Costello: Do you always do this ?
Abbott: 'du' will give you disk usage.
Costello: HELP!
Abbott: 'help' is only used for Source Code
Control System (SCCS).
Costello: You make me angry.
Abbott: No, I don't 'make me' angry but I did
'make programname' when I was upset once.
Costello: I don't want to make trouble, so no more.
Abbott: No 'more'? 'which' will help you find
'more'. Every system has 'more'.
Costello: Nice help! I'm confused more now!
Abbott: Understand that since 'help' is such a
small program, it is better not to 'nice help'. and 'more
now' is not allowed but 'at now' is. Unless of course
'now' is a file name.
Costello: This is almost as confusing as my PC.
Abbott: I didn't know you needed help with 'pc'.
Let me get you to the Pascal compiler team. --
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