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IJMC - Corporate Upgrade Policy
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>Date: Wed, 8 Jan 1997 18:41:48 -0800 (PST)
>Message-Id: <[email protected]>
>From: [email protected] (Ambassador Dave)
>Subject: IJMC - Corporate Upgrade Policy
>Organization: International Junk Mail Clearinghouse (IJMC)
>Sender: [email protected]
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>Reply-To: [email protected]
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>
> IJMC - Corporate Upgrade Policy
>
>This one sat in the break froom for a few months before the head
>accountant pulled it off of the message board. See how long it lasts in
>your company or computer lab! -dave
>
>
>
>
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>
>Subject: Program to Replace S&L PC's
>---------------------------------------------------------------------------
----
> Sound advice!
>
>
> Every now and then any organization must update its desktop
> facilities. What is a sound criteria for determining those needs.
> Here are a few of the logically based economic and scientific
> considerations
>
>
> Management asks "...how to determine when we need to buy PCs." Here
> are a few thoughts.
>
> You can justify replacing your PC if...
>
> Your numeric keypad uses Roman Numerals.
>
> Your neighbor's PC's all have lightning bolts on the chassis to warn
> of high voltage inside. Your PC has a picture of Thor.
>
> A thief discovers your PC at midnight. The next morning, atop your PC
> you find a Genuine Hallmark Card. Inside you find a five dollar bill
> and a book of food stamps.
>
> Your mouse is made out of Bakelite.
>
> Your modem's dialer thinks "Compuserve" is "three long and two short."
>
> You've had to complain to AT&T about constant dinner-time phone calls
> from the Smithsonian Museum.
>
> Your PC has already been programmed to handle "turn of the century"
> year ambiguities by using four digits, making it possible to
> differentiate ambiguous '96' as either '96BC' or '96AD'.
>
> Your internal 'HDD' is an FeO2 drum.
>
> Your internal memory is mercury-vapor-acustic.
>
> The only Juke Box approved for your PC is The Mighty Whurlitzer.
>
> Your UPS requires a continuous supply of downhill running water.
>
> You have a 10'x15' private office. Whenever management complains, you
> show them your PC.
>
> Your laptop PC has built-in wheels, a long handle, and a horse collar.
>
> A list of upgrades for your PC is has been found on the Rosetta Stone.
>
> Windows on your PC keeps displaying a Pop-Up message saying "Non
> illigitimus te corborundum est."
>
>
>
>
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>
>
>Yet Another E-Mail Sent By The International Junk Mail Clearinghouse (IJMC).
>Unless otherwise specified, distribute freely. All questions, comments,
>submissions, and requests should be directed to Dave at [email protected]
>
> IJMC Mailings - email [email protected] with "info ijmc-l" in body
> IJMC WebPage - http://www.tjsgroup.com/ijmc
>
>This is Mac. \\\\|////
>He wants to travel the world. ( O O )
>Please add him to your .sig and help him. ---oOOo--U--oOOo---
>
>
--
-=TED=- O- JAPH [email protected]
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If you only have a nail, you tend to see every hammer as a problem.
-Larry Wall