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how to scare people at the comp. lab

>50 Ways to Scare People In the Computer Room
>
>
>1.  Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and
>    scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.
>
>2.  Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop
>    and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
>
>3.  When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty
>    that you can't get the damn thing to work.  After he/she's turned
>    it on, wait 5 minutes,turn it off again, & repeat the process for
>    a good half hour.
>
>4.  Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you
>    evilly.
>
>5.  Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to
>    different screen than the one it's set up with.
>
>6.  Write a program that plays the "Smurfs" theme song and play it at
>    the highest volume possible over & over again.
>
>7.  Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by
>    something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.
>
>8.  Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret
>    Pentagon files.
>
>9.      Use Interactive Send to make passes at people you don't know.
>
>10.     Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.
>
>11. Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it,
>    say "Just in case..." mysteriously.
>
>12. Type on VAX for a while.  Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes at
>    everything bad about your life.  Then stop and continue typing.
>
>13. Enter the lab, undress, and start staring at other people as if
>    they're crazy while typing.
>
>14.     Light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before starting.
>
>15. Ask around for a spare disk.  Offer $2.  Keep asking until someone
>    agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your fly and say "Oops, I forgot."
>
>16. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required,
>    pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it
>       finishes.
>
>17.     "DISK FIGHT!!!"
>
>18. Start making out with the person at the terminal next to you (It
>    helps if you know them, but this is also a great way to make new
>    friends).
>
>19. Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type
>    by hitting the keys with the straw.
>
>20. If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion
>    Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.
>
>21. Draw a picture of a woman (or man) on a piece of paper, tape it to
>    your monitor.  Try to seduce it.  Act like it hates you and then
>    complain loudly that women (men) are worthless.
>
>22. Try to stick a Ninetendo cartridge into the 3 disc drive, when it
>    doesn't work, get the supervisor.
>
>23. When you are on an IBM, and when you turn it on, ask loudly where
>    the smiling Apple face is when you turn on one of those.
>
>24. Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when its all done
>    (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.
>
>25. Sit and stare at the screen, biting your nails noisely.  After doing
>    this for a while, spit them out at the feet of the person next to you.
>
>26. Stare at the screen, grind your teeth, stop, look at the person next
>    to grinding.  Repeat procedure, making sure you never provoke the
>    person enough to let them blow up, as this releases tension, and it is
>    far more effective to let them linger.
>
>27. If you have long hair, take a typing break, look for split ends, cut
>    them and deposit them on your neighbor's keyboard as you leave.
>
>28. Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your
>    desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.
>
>29. Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks.  Remove shoes and
>    place them of top of the monitor.  Remove socks layer by layer and
>    drape them around the monitor.  Exclaim sudden haiku about the
>    aesthetic beauty of cotton on plastic.
>
>30. Take the keyboard and sit under the computer.  Type up your paper like
>    this.  Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working
>    conditions.
>
>31. Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in flames!!!" and
>    continue working.
>
>32.     Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking.
>
>33. Assign a musical note to every key (ie. the Delete key is A Flat, the B
>    key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever you hit a key, humits note loudly.
>    Write an entire paper this way.
>
>34.     Attempt to eat your computer's mouse.
>
>35. Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse me,
>    mind if I borrow this for a sec?", unplugging the keyboard & taking it.
>
>36.     Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.
>
>37. When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the
>    old ways are best.
>
>38.     Play Pong for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.
>
>39. Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until you
>    see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the space bar so your
>    fill isn't affected).  Then look at your neighbor's keyboard.  Hit
>    his/her delete key several times, erasing an entire word.  While you
>    do this, ask: "Does *your* delete key work?"  Shake your head, and
>    resume hitting the space bar on your keyboard.  Keep doing this until
>    you've deleted about a page of your neighbor's document.  Then,
>    suddenly exclaim: "Well, whaddya know? I've been hitting the space bar
>    this whole time. No wonder it wasn't deleting! Ha!" Print out your
>    document and leave.
>
>40. Remove your disk from the drive and hide it.  Go to the lab monitor and
>    complain that your computer ate your disk.  (For special effects, put
>    some Elmer's Glue on or around the disk drive.  Claim that the computer
>    is drooling.)
>
>41. Stare at the person's next to your's screen, look really puzzled, burst
>    out laughing, and say "You did that?" loudly.  Keep laughing, grab your
>    stuff and leave, howling as you go.
>
>42. Point at the screen.  Chant in a made up language while making
>    elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two.  Press return or the mouse,
>    then leap back and yell "COVEEEEERRRRRR!" peek up from under the table,
>    walk back to the computer and say.  "Oh, good.  It worked this time,"
>    and calmly start to type again.
>
>43.     Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.
>
>44. See who's online.  Send a total stranger a talk request.  Talk to them
>    like you've known them all your lives.  Hangup before they geta chance
>    to figure out you're a total stranger.
>
>45. Bring an small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound effects.
>    Pretend it's the computer and look really lost.
>
>46. Pull out a pencil.  Start writing on the screen.  Complain that the lead
>    doesn't work.
>
>47. Come into the computer lab wearing several endangered species of flowers
>    in your hair. Smile incessantly.  Type a sentence, then laugh happily,
>    exclaim "You''re such a marvel!!", and kis the screen.  Repeat this
>    after every sentence.  As your ecstasy mounts, also hug the keyboard.
>    Finally, hug your neighbor, then the computer assistant, and walk out.
>
>48. Run into the computer lab, shout "Armageddon is here!!!!!", then calmly
>    sit down and begin to type.
>
>49. Quietly walk into the computer lab with a Black and Decker chainsaw, rev
>    that baby up, and then walk up to the nearest person and say "Give me
>    that computer or you'll be feeding my pet crocodile for the next week".
>
>50.     Two words:  Tesla Coil.


************************* Azeem Iqbal Pirani *************************
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