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E-mail Addicts Anonymous!
For all who are overwhelmed by the amount of messages
that come in, I'd like to pass this along. Hope the chuckle eases
the pain as
it did mine.
When you have 200 e-mails in your in-box and deadlines
staring down your throat, try one or more of these
survival tips:
===============================
1. Delete all the messages from your inbox and claim you
must have had a twenty-four hour virus.
2. Set your watch and see how fast you can open and
close all the files in your in-basket. This is a
test of your mouse clicking dexterity. Now that
you've "read" them all, you may delete them. And go get some
ice cream as a reward for your hard work!
3. Pick two or three letters of the alphabet and delete
all mail with those letters in the subject line.
4. Pick a thread of discussion that you hate and nuke
the whole thing from your mailbox. (But watch out
for collateral damage, unless you're really behind schedule.)
5. Close your eyes and randomly select mail messages
with your mouse button and delete all the mail selected.
It's not your fault! It was an act of God!
6. If you have the capability of telling your mail
server whether or not you want to download your mail to
your local host, for today you can JUST SAY NO!
7. You can put uninteresting looking mail (or mail
longer than two lines, like this one) into a "special"
folder that you can nuke or save for those nights when
you have insomnia. Very BAD insomnia.
8. You can pick the longest post you see in your message
list and vent your spleen to the poster of that message.
Really blast him/her. But before you send it, change
the To: address to your own address. Then recollect your mail and
ask who sent you *that* piece of mail?
9. You can only read the subject lines in your inbox and
just let that count as reading all your mail.
10. You can add to this list of Tips for the List-Weary.
You will still have the same number of emails in your
inbox, but at least you'll feel more in control of your
mailbox.
AND...
THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO "HMMMM..."
Author: Julie Dewsnup, UC DAVIS WR SAREP
Where do they get the seeds to grow seedless oranges?
How come there is a mailbox in front of the post office?
If we can make semi-conductors, why can't we make complete
conductors?
Why go to all the trouble of building a hidden driveway when the
highway department puts up a "Hidden Drive" sign?
How come we can never just rant or just rave? Why do we always have
to do both? It makes me sick and tired.
If a mime fell in the woods, would he make a sound?
Why do radio stations interrupt "60 minutes of uninterrupted music"
to tell you you're listening to 60 minutes of uninterrupted music?
If your nose runs and your feet smell, are you built upside down?
What did moths congregate around before light bulbs were invented?
If Dracula can't see his reflection in the mirror, why is his hair
always so neatly combed?
Why are America's parks and great outdoors administered by the
Department of the Interior?
Does an invisible ink stain have to be cleaned with invisible spot
remover?
If you put a chameleon in a mirrored box, what color would he be --
clear?
Can you call someone on the other side of the international date line
and get tomorrow's winning lottery numbers?
Can you really avoid injury in an airplane crash if you jump out when
the plane is just a few feet from the ground?
If you spread butter on a cat's back and dropped the cat, would it
land on its feet?
Why do we use the phrase "recorded earlier"? Is there ANY other time
to record something?
Joy Kendrick
Web Weaver & Owner
Joyous Creations
925 Gillette Street
Winston-Salem, North Carolina 27105-5715
E-mail: [email protected]
Welcome to Joyous Creations!
http://www.clearlight.com/~jc/JoyousCreations/
Welcome to Joy's Wonderful & Wacky World!
http://www.clearlight.com/~jc/JoysWorld/
"Ok, who cancelled my reality check???"
Virtual Vacations, (You *need* a vacation!)
http://www.plws.com/vv
The Muse's Music Hall! Virtual E-Cards!
http://www.thecore.com/~nannette/