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techno-geeks (fwd)

>How to tell that you are a techno-geek:
>
>
>1.  Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty's address book.
>The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line
>services, and your Internet address, which spreads across the breadth of
>the letterhead and continues to the back.  In essence, you have conceded
>that the first page of any letter you write *is* letterhead.
>
>
>2.  You have never sat through an entire movie without having at least one
>device on your body beep or buzz.
>
>
>3.  You need to fill out a form that must be typewritten, but you can't
>because there isn't one typewriter in your house -- only computers with
>laser printers.
>
>
>4.  You think of the gadgets in your office as "friends," but you forget
>to send your father a birthday card.
>
>
>5.  You disdain people who use low baud rates.
>
>
>6.  When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson
>talking with customers -- and you butt in to correct him and spend the
>next twenty minutes answering the customers' questions, while the
>salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head.
>
>
>7.  You use the phrase "digital compression" in a conversation without
>thinking how strange your mouth feels when you say it.
>
>
>8.  You constantly find yourself in groups of people to whom you say the
>phrase "digital compression."  Everyone understands what you mean, and
>you are not surprised or disappointed that you don't have to explain it.
>
>
>9.  You know Bill Gates' e-mail address, but you have to look up your own
>social security number.
>
>
>10.  You stop saying "phone number" and replace it with "voice number,"
>since we all know the majority of phone lines in any house are plugged
>into contraptions that talk to other contraptions.
>
>
>11.  You sign Christmas cards by putting :-) next to your signature.
>
>
>12.  Off the top of your head, you can think of nineteen keystroke symbols
>that are far more clever than :-).
>
>
>13.  You back up your data every day.
>
>
>14.  Your wife asks you to pick up some minipads for her at the store and
>you return with a rest for your mouse.
>
>
>15.  You think jokes about being unable to program a VCR are stupid.
>
>
>16.  On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages
>faster than everyone else who is reading John Grisham novels.
>
>
>17.  The thought that a CD could refer to finance or music rarely
>enters your mind.
>
>
>18.  You are able to argue persuasively the Ross Perot's phrase
>"electronic town hall" makes more sense than the term "information
>superhighway," but you don't because, after all, the man still uses
>hand-drawn pie charts.
>
>
>19.  You go to computer trade shows and map out your path of the exhibit
>hall in advance.  But you cannot give someone directions to your house
>without looking up the street names.
>
>
>20.  You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon.
>
>
>21.  You become upset when a person calls you on the phone to sell you
>something, but you think it's okay for a computer to call and demand that
>you start pushing buttons on your telephone to receive more information
>about the product it is selling.
>
>
>22.  You know without a doubt that disks come in five-and-a- quarter-and
>three-and-a-half-inch sizes.
>
>
>23.  Al Gore strikes you as an "intriguing" fellow.
>
>
>24.  .  You own a set of itty-bitty screw-drivers and you actually know where
>they are.
>
>
>25.     While contemporaries swap stories about their recent hernia
>surgeries, you compare mouse-induced index-finger strain with a
>nine-year-old.
>
>
>26.  You are so knowledgeable about technology that you feel secure enough
>to say "I don't know" when someone asks you a technology question instead
>of feeling compelled to make something up.
>
>
>27.    You rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile
>tires.
>
>
>28.  You have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you
>own turns bread into charcoal.
>
>
>29.  You have ended friendships because of irreconcilably different
>opinions about which is better -- the track ball or the track *pad*.
>
>
>30.  You understand all the jokes in this message.  If so, my friend,
>technology has taken over your life.  We suggest, for your own good, that
>you go lie under a tree and write a haiku.  And don't use a laptop.
>
>
>=-=-=-=-=-=->>> Finally...
>
>31. You email this message to your friends over the net. You'd never get
>around to showing it to them in person or reading it to them on the phone.
>In fact, you have probably never met most of these people face-to-face.