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cars like computers (fwd)
> > Subject:
> > WHAT IF PEOPLE BOUGHT CARS LIKE THEY BUY COMPUTERS?
> >
> > General Motors doesn't have a "help line" for people who don't know how
> > to drive, because people don't buy cars like they buy computers - - but
> > imagine if they did . . .
> >
> > HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"
> >
> > CUSTOMER: "I got in my car and closed the door, and nothing happened!"
> >
> > HELPLINE: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?"
> >
> > CUSTOMER: "What's an ignition?"
> >
> > HELPLINE: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and
> > turns over the engine."
> >
> > CUSTOMER: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know
> > all of these technical terms just to use my car?"
> > --------------------------------------------------------------------------
> > HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"
> >
> > CUSTOMER: "My car ran fine for a week, and now it won't go anywhere!"
> >
> > HELPLINE: "Is the gas tank empty?"
> >
> > CUSTOMER: "Huh? How do I know!?"
> >
> > HELPLINE: "There's a little gauge on the front panel, with a needle, and
> > markings from 'E' to 'F.' Where is the needle pointing?"
> >
> > CUSTOMER: "It's pointing to 'E.' What does that mean?"
> >
> > HELPLINE: "It means that you have to visit a gasoline vendor, and
> > purchase some more gasoline. You can install it yourself, or pay the
> > vendor to install it for you."
> >
> > CUSTOMER: "What!? I paid $12,000.00 for this car! Now you tell me
> > that I have to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes with
> > everything built in!"
> > --------------------------------------------------------------------------
> > HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"
> >
> > CUSTOMER: "Your cars suck!"
> >
> > HELPLINE: "What's wrong?"
> >
> > CUSTOMER: "It crashed, that's what went wrong!"
> >
> > HELPLINE: "What were you doing?"
> >
> > CUSTOMER: "I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all
> > the way to the floor. It worked for a while, and then it crashed -- and
> > now it won't start!"
> >
> > HELPLINE: "It's your responsibility if you misuse the product. What do
> > you expect us to do about it?"
> >
> > CUSTOMER: "I want you to send me one of the latest versions that
> > doesn't crash anymore!"
> > --------------------------------------------------------------------------
> > HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"
> >
> > CUSTOMER: "Hi! I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because
> > it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power
> > brakes, and power door locks."
> >
> > HELPLINE: "Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?"
> >
> > CUSTOMER: "How do I work it?"
> >
> > HELPLINE: "Do you know how to drive?"
> >
> > CUSTOMER: "Do I know how to what?"
> >
> > HELPLINE: "Do you know how to DRIVE?"
> >
> > CUSTOMER: "I'm not a technical person! I just want to go places in my
> > car!"
************************* Azeem Iqbal Pirani *************************
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*********************** [email protected] ************************
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