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If???Made Toasters
>
>If Andersen Consulting made toasters:
>
>It would be the first fully integrated holistic re-engineered simple yet
>radical interpersonal communicational wheat product leveraging visionary
>offering toaster on the market coming without the risk of carbonation
>degradation via an architecting process involving a conceptual design of
>worldwide breadth helping to deliver domestic food services for
>enterprise-wide value frameworks across the continuum of reorientation in
>an impactful
>environment which is strategically based, industry focused and aligned with
>your family's mission, vision and core values.
>
>If IBM made toasters:
>
>They would want one big toaster where people bring bread to be submitted for
>overnight toasting. IBM would claim a worldwide market for five, maybe six
>toasters. The catchy ad campaign would be entitled "Toasters for a small
>Planet" - a discussion with you an your dentist about IBM's incredible
>success in integrating toasters for the worldwide Olympic Games.
>
>If Microsoft made toasters:
>
>Everytime you bought a loaf of bread you would have to buy a toaster. You
>wouldn't have to take the toaster, but you'll still have to pay for it
>anyway.
>
>Toaster'95 would weigh 15000 pounds (hence requiring a reinforced steel
>countertop), draw enough electricity to power a small city, take up 95% of
>the space in your kitchen, would claim to be the first toaster that lets you
>control how light or dark you want your toast to be, and would secretly
>interrogate your other appliances to find out who made them. Everyone would
>hate Microsoft toasters, but nonetheless would buy them since most of the
>good bread only works with their toasters.
>
>If Apple made toasters:
>
>It would do everything a Microsoft toaster does, but 5 years earlier.
>
>If Xerox made toasters:
>
>You could toast one-sided or two-sided. Successive slices would get lighter
>and lighter. The toaster would jam your bread for you.
>
>If Radio Shack made toasters:
>
>The staff would sell you a toaster, but not know anything about it. Or you
>could buy all the parts to build your own toaster.
>
>If Oracle made toasters:
>
>They would claim their toaster was compatible with all brands and styles of
>bread, but when you got it home you'd discover the Bagel Engine was still in
>development, the Croissant extension was three years away, and that indeed
>the whole appliance was just blowing smoke.
>
>If Sun made toasters:
>
>The toast would burn often, but you'd get a really good cuppa Java.
>
>If Hewlett-Packard made toasters:
>
>They would market the Reverse Toaster, which takes in toast and gives you
>regular bread.
>
>If TRW Corporation made toasters:
>
>It would be a large, perfectly smooth and seamless black cube. Every
>morning there would be a piece of toast on top of it. Their service
>department
>would have an unlisted telephone number, and the blueprints for the box
>would be
>highly classified Government documents. The X-Files would have an episode
>about it.
>
> If Sony made toasters:
>
>The ToastMan, which would be barely larger than the single slice of bread it
>is meant to toast can be conveniently attached to your belt.
>
>If Fisher Price made toasters:
>
>"Baby's First Toaster" would have a hand-crank that you turn to toast the
>bread that pops up like a Jack-in-the-box.
>
>If the Franklin Mint made toasters:
>
>Every month you would receive another lovely hand crafted piece of your
>authentic Civil War pewter toaster.
************************* Azeem Iqbal Pirani *************************
*********************** Xibercom (Pvt.) Ltd. ************************
*********************** [email protected] ************************
************ http://www.egr.uh.edu/~ahs21457/venture.html ************
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